It isn’t until you get to university that you really realise who are the friends you are going to end up coming out the other end with. No matter how much time and effort you put into keeping the momentum in a friendship going before university, there is no point if it is stagnant during and after university. This was the subject of a DnM I had with my long lost cousin on Thursday, when I skipped all my lectures just to hang out on the bench in the sun, instead of doing my Bioethics assignment, which I handed in 1 minute late (10% penalty fml). The most amazing thing is, I havn’t talked to my cousin in about 6 years. I use to think she was probably one of the biggest retards I;ve ever known (in a good way) and one that was all rosy and happy. But apparently not. She has her own problems too, which are surprisingly really similar to mine when it comes to friends. You see all her friends go different universities and seeing as they all do science, which amounts to those 24+hours in total, they never find time to meet. On my side, I always try to find time to visit some of my friends at UNSW. But then there are others that I never see cause I can’t even thought they all exist on the same campus (reasons being time tables don’t match), but I know its not their fault and I know for a fact the position that I hold in their life and how important I am to them. Then there are others that I never see and really don’t know who I am to them, which for the lul at this point, I don’t really care I guess? It annoys me that I am confused about where I stand in their life: Am I supposed to be a good friend? an Aquaintance? Someone that use to be a good friend and would like to revive that “good friend”status sometime? Maybe I’m supposed to try harder to see these people, but in actual fact, why arn’t they trying either? (I’m just being a bitch now). Theresa T’s sister once said that after a few weeks and months in university, you really do know who your real friends are, and its those friends that try to keep up with your life, or try to really get to meet up with you. Bottom line is that they try hard to do whatever they can to see you or talk to you or keep in contact. I love my twitterfam <3 and I love my dhtlz or whatever is left of it but there are some friends I lost already that I feel can never go back to the closeness we use to be. Maybe I’m just making it difficult for people to try and stay friends with me. I’m stubborn. Its stupid I know. But I am. I like straightforward answers. If you want to stay in touch. TELL ME. Spell it out to my face. I can’t read minds, is too stupid to read between the lines and too tired to decipher cryptic messages. I don’t make the effort but neither do they, so at which point do you stop being stubborn and start trying and stop waiting? Its an awfully difficult question because you have this mind set that you are always the one trying (and maybe you are/arn’t) and the other person is always the one that lets you try and doesn’t try him/herself. But if the person is really that important to you, don’t wait around for them to try, you start trying more no matter how stubborn you are. I’ve learnt this but it doesn’t really matter if the person doesn’t seem to meet you half way. In yr 10, I imagined myself with a completely different group of people from those that I am close with now. In fact I clearly told a particular person “You are the only one I can actually imagine myself talking to after highschool”. 3 years on, that particular person has practically vanished off the face of my earth, literally. How about 3 years from now? How many “friends” will I lose? and How many will I consider close friends? Its a question that can’t actually be answered until the time comes I supposed. You just have to wait and see who is willing to step it up and make you feel like you are an irreplaceable part of their life. In the long run, my existence barely makes a mark on the world, but its nice to know when it makes a mark on someone else’s like they do mine.
WTH IS THIS 
