Guest Starring…

Today we have a guest blogger, that in my daily absence (because I’m capped and cbfcked going through the whole dial up speed page loading process), wrote for Super Milk on Friday night. I did not post it till now I will be back hopefully this week with a new month of June and 36GB of heavenly speed and downloads.
———————————-

A few months ago, a group of friends and I were talking about ‘shroom’ – a mushroom drug that can make you hallucinate the most obscene scenarios – like bleeding your eyes out – or to the most fantastical scenario like jumping on clouds or walking through walls or seeing fairies in the sky.  This drug kinda resembles the mushroom in super Mario where Mario would have a sudden epileptic fit from someone jabbing a needle up his ass and hit his head up a metal block and a mushroom would jump out. Similarly, as Mario takes the mushroom and becomes a mental hyperactive rainbow murderous knome, the person taking shroom would somewhat become a real-life version of Mario.  Isnt that so cool?! I started to become more interested in this kinda thing – recreational drugs and all that.  I don’t know why but I feel like I want to break the limits of reality and just fly off into space or something, even though I’m told that I’m already going crazy and becoming increasingly weird at school. But this is so different.  I wanna get so high that I would laugh for hours straight, which might kill my throat and gouge out my eyes, but its so worth it.  Laughing until you’re crying or until you feel as if your stomach might burst, i haven’t done that in AGES.  But the problem is, I don’t really wanna take drugs cos Drugs = Life-destroyer and mental-institute attracter.  So, a few days ago, a friend came up with the solution.  Get high on V or Red Bull drinks.  At first I thought that it was crazyyy, because don’t those things taste like medicine Panadol or something? She suggested 5 cans of these drinks each – all of which will be taken at school so that when we’re in class, we’d be shivering and giggling throughout for no reason. The idea is starting to appeal to me but I still have my doubts. What if I overdose or these drinks? What if I start vomiting or feeling sick? What if I do something I’ll regret after having taken these drinks? What if I actually grow wings and fly to heaven? SO MANY DOUBTS.

So naturally, I started to do some research. I typed into google “getting high on red bull” and eventually I came across this page: http://www.cracked.com/article_16178_7-common-foods-that-can-actually-get-you-high.html – who knew that so there are so many natural things out there that can get you high like the grapes or cherries or whatever it is.  OMG, I could just pick them off a tree for free.  Anyway, I scrolled down and saw the this page : http://www.cracked.com/article_16762_6-biggest-assholes-in-animal-kingdom.html –  It’s a bit explicit but nonetheless very funny. I can’t imagine Mr Fearnside’s reaction if I printed out a page and handed it to him in Biology.  Nah, he’d probably give me the same old stoned face and say, “First Half. Science Staffroom”. 

Anyway, so I was saying, any volunteers for this experiment of extremity? If you don’t wanna drink V or Red Bull, I can always pick one of those mushrooms or grapes from our school garden.  I’m sure they have the equivalent degree of super powers.

~Guess who. (no actually don’t guess)